Relationship status: It is complicated

Everytime I feel strong enough to move on and leave things behind you somehow find away to pull me back. And I find myself right in the middle of a huge complication. Now that you have done it again it feels both "the butterflies and cramps" of crazy in love and "the tissues and chocolate phase" of a heavy break up. It feels right, it feels wrong.. Where do we stand? It is a stalemate. There are no further actions to be taken, yet no will or courage to withdraw and somehow the game is still on. It feels as if someone pushed the pause button and everything froze, and all I am left to do is to hang on to the moment and get the most out of it.